How Do I Feel?

How does it feel to know you’ll never love someone like you love me?

How do you feel knowing you have never loved someone before me the way you love me right now?

What is it like to look at her and to wish.

To hope that somewhere I feel your desire and I’m looking for you too.

What’s it like to miss me?

To put me in everything you do?

How do you explain your attachment to things I’ve touched, worn, or noticed?

Where do you go from here?

Why do you try to recreate my magic with other magicians?

How did your blessing become your curse?

So honored to know me while you regret the day we met.

How did it feel to loose me?

To hold so carelessly what is worth more than your life has ever seen.

To think you would not miss it.

Only to end up on the wrong side of love.

Yearning.

For my face to face yours one day again.

Settling for a possible future.

As the memories of me remind you why you should still live.

Another chance to hold my body against yours.

What does my absence taste like?

Like the sour tang of failed potential.

A space that could not be filled by any amount of pretty girls that think you’re special.

Because contrary to your own beliefs..it didn’t move you when they said it.

You needed it off the lips of the girl you watched become a woman.

Her opinion forever feeding you and killing you just the same.

A devilish pleasure that ends you every time.

And now you are free of it.

Open to what calls your name during moments of change where the mirror’s reflection is too cloudy to clean, so you’ll use your phone instead.

You are free to answer one surface question after the next.

“What kind of movies do you like?”

As you squint your eyes to fit into your newest distraction.

Never are you occupied long enough to release me.

Your energy a soft knocking on my reality as you overflow with thoughts of me.

I feel sorry for you.

For you two.

You and the part of me that lives in spirit inside of your body where your heart has made room for me.

She worries for you.

About how you will come to know happiness through your blocking of me.

How you will never completely let me go.

But instead you will choose survival for the legacy of who ever you are without me.

And bury me deeper in your body to make more room.

Making me a part of you forever to add nostalgia to new moments of your next.

And sometimes you will stop and feel me.

Your body reminding you of all parts of you.

How do I feel?

⁃ Forever in your heart.

ME